It’s taken me months of reading to admit that I’m still in the book of Genesis. Earlier this year, I set out on what I thought would result in me reading the Bible more. I knew I wouldn’t finish the entire Bible by the close of the year but I thought I’d get at least half way through the chronological reading.
This feels like a guilty confession—I haven’t been reading the Bible everyday. Good luck if I get to it once a week. It’s probably been eight months of me being stuck in Genesis. I find it totally ironic and not ironic at all that I will meet Exodus in a few days. Or weeks, depending on what rate I take.
I’ve not given up my faith in these days of distance. Though, at times my faith was stretched by the sinful ways of my human nature. I think this is a good thing. Oh! Umm..maybe, not so good…(I can feel your quizzical look all the way over here.)
Ah, feel as you must. When temptation comes, however, it is a great reminder of our utter helplessness. It tells of our faulty moral compass.
Just this one time.
And that’s not a bad sign, you can’t keep your arrow perfect all the time. Note you can never be righteous all on your own. You are only able to do everything [like resist sinful urges] through Christ who strengthens you.
A confused compass is also a sign of what particular areas of life you are struggling in and hopefully growing in. Are you tempted to lie? Are you tempted to covet? Are you tempted by greed? Those are all areas where God can work miracles. And you cannot.
I won’t call myself a sinner because I haven’t been reading the Bible as I once diligently did. But I will call myself a sinner because of the things that held me back from reading the Bible.
We won’t get into details because mostly, they’ve been matters of the heart—no juicy gossip here. However, I realized that in my attempt to be self-righteous over my own sin, I was neglecting my need for Jesus’ saving.
I’m the believer who believes we need Jesus’ saving everyday. Not just one day 6 years ago. But everyday there is a reason to call upon His grace. After all, His mercies are new everyday.
Back to me getting stuck in Genesis and everyday passing by with without a word read nor prayer said—
I got farther and farther
And s l o w e r
A n d s l o w e r to call on my need for Jesus.
Because, get this, my super awesome self-righteous sin-covering bandaid was…wait for it: distraction!
Well, if I stuff everything in the closet then I won’t have to look at it. I can just look at these pretty things over here that do not need to be hidden in the closet. You know what, I’ll even decorate the closet doors with pretty stuff to distract the eye!
It gets deeper than that. A lot deeper. Distraction eventually takes on the form of baggage. It weighs you down, crooks your spine and slows your ability.
What could’ve taken an agile heart no time takes you a year or longer because your hands are full of and your mind is occupied with all the glittery objects.
So focus on the Most High, cast your glittery and dull burdens on the Lord and experience the freedom Jesus so graciously granted you.
Yes, I’m talking to myself.
With love, Mama X